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Mighty Mariner Week 5

By: The Mighty Mariner
Date: 19/09/2000

This week Grimsby's mascot the Mighty Mariner has a major crisis when part of his outfit becomes damaged whilst being cleaned. In typical fashion though after a few days of panic the week ends with Mighty's costume as good as new! But he still fancies that blonde from the pontoon!

The Mighty Mariner's Weekly Diary

Tues 12th SepI was right. Less than four thou for the Bolton game. radio Humbs stirring up a panic over getting to the match didn't help and to top it all we were robbed. Town had a great game and should have won but for a Livvo fluff and then a goal conceded against the run of play. Ah well such is life. At least good signs of improvement and a tighter defence. Not only that but I think I'm in love with this gorgeous blond piece that watches from the pontoon. She's about five foot two with a cute little nose and shoulder length hair. Next problem… how do I find her name?
Weds 13thDreamt about blondie last night. This is bad. Never mind, back to soccer and we have a Spaniard and a German on trial here. They're playing a friendly against Doncaster behind closed doors so I miss it. Could be exciting. Grimsby, the Chelsea of the Humber? No it doesn't quite have that ring to it.
Thurs 14thWell the friendly came and went and we lost 1-0. The Spaniard got blisters so they're sending him home. Blisters!! What a wuss. Hasn't he worn cheap footie boots before? The German got a strain in the groin or similar so looks like a perfect replacement for Ashcroft already. I have to say though that I'm not over impressed and a tadge disappointed
Fri 15thPetrol is available again and I got some this morning. All ready for the weekend now but it'll be too late to get a decent crowd up for Burnley. Never mind. I've bought some special foam cleaner to have a go at cleaning the mighty mariner outfit up this weekend. I saw it on QVC marvellous stuff. Cleans car bumpers too.
Sat 16thOh no. Ohhhh nooooo!! This bloody foam cleaner has dissolved a hole in the mighty mariners arse. I can't believe it I did everything it said on the label. Well apart from answering the phone at one point and leaving a big blob of the stuff on the trouser part. I didn't realise that this cleaner dissolves a thin layer off the surface and I've dissolved a dozen layers. I am in deep doo doo. I have until Tuesday to fix it. The girlfriend would know what to do but she read my diary and we argued about blondie and she's left me again.
Sun 17thO.K. I've tried superglue, Bostik, Evo stik, Araldite and bicycle tyre repair glue but none of it works. I've thought of buying some bigger shorts to cover the hole but the ones 'Mighty' wears are 56 inch waist and they don't come much bigger. I ought to go to that girl at the college who made the outfit but I don't know her name and daren't ask at the club. I wonder if the club will sack me?
Mon 18thI had no choice so I phoned the club and asked for the number of the girl who fixes the outfit. They asked why. I lied and said I wanted to ask her for a date. They laughed and gave me her number. I rang and it was engaged. I didn't know till later that the officegirl at GTFC was telling Karen (the college lass) that I fancied her as soon as I'd put the phone down. I got hold of Karen at 4 pm and she came round at 6 pm. She is gorgeous. I said earlier she was attractive but tonight she came dressed to kill. She laughed at the damage I'd done and cut a small circle from some spare foam, then fixed it in with some special solvent and finished by colouring it with this special ink pen. Good as new. I asked her for a drink to celebrate and she said Yes. Don't expect me in till later mother!!

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