Cod Widow's Diary Week 3
By: Chez Osborne
Date: 09/10/2000
Long-suffering Chez Osborne, wife of Nick, tells the tale of the week she has had to endure as a Cod Widow. Times can be hard and Nick stretches her patience to the full on occasions as his priorities in life differ widely from her expectations of them!
Diary of a Cod Widow
Mon 2nd Oct | Christ, I need some help. 'He' Nicko, had all last week off. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke this morning to find sad man still in bed. He's off till Thursday. What am I going to do? One weeks bad enough, but 2 on the trot just ain't cricket(sorry, should that be football?)
Anyway, the day passes without much hassle. Until he reads the GET that is. Thought the poor little love was gonna cry when he re-read the Barnsley write ups. Not to worry though, it's matchday and he goes into the chatroom on the Fishy as normal. Now picture the scene, me and the girls are given the usual orders, keep quiet, don't talk, don't breathe, keep away from the radio and PC. Well I'm getting a little pissed off at this. Until sadman takes off his headphones, his face is a right picture. Wolves have scored. I swear, he was nearly crying. Honest. No sympathy from me. It's a game isn't it? You play, you win you lose. Right?(mind you, with Town its you play you lose hehe) I know I know, I shouldn't laugh. But he is annoying when footie's on you know. Anyway, Town lost so I was right. |
Tue 3rd | Today's a quiet day. But that twat (Nicko)is getting on my nerves. Not only is he moping about the house pondering the ins and outs of Fulham v Wolves, but he insists it should have been us AND he reckons we stood a chance (against Fulham that is). Now call me cynical (in fact call me what you like I don't care) but Town at Fulham have about as much chance as SWIN has of staying sober in the chatroom. This boy (Nicko) needs some serious help. |
Wed 4th | HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm laughing because I know what's coming next. Well I do write it you know. Nick went to the reserves game against Stoke. He took some good pics of the new trialists'he says. 'Did you darling' says I, with the worst impression of interest anyone could do. Well……..all excited he sits at the PC to download the pics from the camera. The PC tells him to get stuffed. He tries again, get stuffed you camera don't work says the PC. His face was brilliant to see. Nearly crying (again). Stressed out doesn't describe it well enough. All night long and Mr I'm a sad git hasn't fixed it yet. He's well stressed. 'Did you try' I began, 'YES', he snaps back. 'You don't know what I was gonna say', I said. 'I know but I've tried that anyway' ,he says.
WHOA bot, crocodile sarny for supper was it? It's not my fault I told him. Well sod you, I'm off to bed.(no Richard Gere for him tonite LOL) |
Thu 5th | No real footie stuff today (thank god). OH,Nick's fixed the camera/PC. That explains his stupid smug five year oldish grin on his face when I come in from work Corrupt drivers was the fault he says. I couldn't care less I think, but told him how clever he was anyway. GOD, how old is he? I would really love to smack him in the chops with a trout or something. Can't help it, it's his smug look that does it. |
Fri 6th | He's 0n a long shift today, so its been peaceful all day. |
Sat 7th | He's at work, England play and lose(miserably I might add). Nick rings to say, log on and see of Rob's on, tell him Keegan just resigned. Well that's it, I can't escape from footie any time Piss off I tell him. Ok he says. |
Sun 8th | Even God gets a day off so get stuffed, go read the papers or something. |
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