The Fishy - Grimsby Town FC

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28/02 Barnsley 2nd Half

By: Tony Butcher
Date: 29/02/2004

COLDICOTT was replaced by Hamilton at half time. And didn’t it show. Barnsley were immediately in the ascendancy, territory was ceded with Hamilton standing away from his opponents, allowing them to turn, control and pass.

Home > 2003-2004 Season > Reports > Barnsley (h)

Grimsby Town 6 Barnsley 1
28 Feb 2004, Nationwide League Division 2

After a couple of minutes Barnsley got a corner on their left. It was swung over to the far post where there was a bit of a huggle of players. The ball was headed towards goal and Parker cleared off the line straight to NARDIELLO, a few yards out, who smacked it high into the net as Pettinger groped towards him .

And still Barnsley flowed towards Town, with some desperate tackling made, last ditch blocks. Oh dear, Stallard sent free behind the Town defence, on the centre right. Onwards, closer, closer still. Pettinger off his line, Stallard drew back his right boot and belted a low shot across Pettinger who flicked out his foot and diverted the ball away for a corner. Well done, bonny lad! Corner, pressure, crosses, more pressure. Crane received a boot in the head as someone tried an overhead kick half a dozen yards out. Town were holding on grimly, rocked, on the rack, that slim 4-1 lead quivering and quaking.

Ahhhhh, that’s better. Thorpe flipped Jevons free, he danced, he jived, he hit the bye-line on the left and passed across the face of goal. Beresford just managed to cling on to the ball as Thorpe lurked. Rankin, almost played through the middle by Armstrong pushed Austin into Beresford as the ‘keeper cleared, leaving both hobbling around. Ahhh, that’s even better. Town punted a long ball down the centre left and Thorpe flicked a header on. Rankin burst past a defender, zoomed goalwards, avoided one challenge then fell as Kay clipped his ankles, just a few yard out. Another penalty. Barnard had a long conversation with Jevons, arm around shoulder like a kindly uncle. JEVONS placed the ball carefully upon the penalty spot and stroked it underneath Beresford’s dive, into the centre right of the goal. Still 35 minutes left. Double figures beckon.

Hey Mickey you’re so fine. What’s the score?

A couple of minutes later Barnsley were awarded a free kick just inside their half. Why is Nardiello rolling around the floor? Typical, Crane, idiot, idiot Crane, was sent off for doing something seen by few. No-one argued, including Crane. Then Nardiello was booked after the linesman had a quick chat with the referee. Town immediately replaced Rankin with Young. Rankin was displeased with his withdrawal, being forced to drop the handful of salt which he was gleefully rubbing into the wounds of his, well, very soon to be ex-chums.

Barnsley still pressed, with Town, bizarrely, hanging on in quiet desperation. A man free, a block, a cross, a hack, a header, bodies flung hither and thither. Young emerging with the ball, Jevons, magnificent Jevons, charging down an Austin piledriver at the edge of the area. Personal safety sacrificed for Town survival. Parker, great hooking clearance, Armstrong, calm, collected, dribbling away, passing to safety. Parker started to roam down the right, once crossing to Jevons, who head straight at Beresford from a dozen yards. A little later he was played behind the full back and headed on into the goalmouth, with Beresford hurtling off his line to smother. The storm weathered, literally, and Town returned to attack, attack, attack, attack, attack. Thorpe sent free down the left, towards goal, onwards, ever onwards. Daws sprinting up the right , free, arms frantically waving, but Thorpe decided to cut inside and hit a shot against a defender’s legs. Daws annoyed.

Cranered card


Parker42 mins
Hamilton45 mins
Young58 mins


Mark Halsey


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With about 20 minutes left Barnsley made a substitution, bringing on M Boulding, who played out on the left. He was booed, jeered and choi-oiked incessantly. He contributed nothing to Barnsley’s cause. With around 15 minutes left Town moved beautifully forward, with Hamilton bulldozing his way up the right. Jevons was unmarked out on the left, but Hamilton turned around and waltzed up a little cul de sac. The crowd growled, Hamilton passed to Daws who flipped the ball over to Barnard, who strode forward with intent. About 25 yards out Barnard took out his calculator and performed some elementary trigonometry, sliding a perfect pass an inch beyond Handyside’s big toe. The ball travelled into the area and Jevons switched on his cruise control. He awaited a defender, shimmied, dropped a shoulder and sent the hapless arriviste into madness. Now just the ’keeper to spellbind. Beresford walked forward, JEVONS, near the penalty spot, feinted to shoot, watched Marvellous Marlon drop to his left, and haughtily, sumptuously, exquisitely, caressed the ball into the centre of the goal. The artists exhibition was complete, to rave reviews. Barnsley players lay down before him and worshipped at his feet.

Again enquiries were made of Boulding’s numeracy skills, which he refused to display.

Now we could rest easy, for even Town could not mess this up. Oh sure Barnsley had a few attempts at goal, most notably through a couple of free kicks which they spent several days arranging before chipping into the empty seating behind Pettinger. Empty? Weren’t there 1,500 there an hour go? Barely a quarter remained, the pain too much for the fickle followers. And when Barnsley weren’t wafting the ball into plastic they were offside, always offside. It was as if the Town defenders knew what they were doing. How queer, as they say.

There was only one other Town effort of any note in the happy quarter hour that followed the sixth goal. Jevons placed a shot a couple of yards wide of Beresford’s right hand post after some flowing football down the right. Actually, it may have been earlier, oh, so what, it happened. Pettinger has a tendency to punch when challenged, which didn’t cause any problems. Today, anyway. And, well that just about it. Unless you feel an urgent desire to have some Barnsley bookings described in detail? No, why bother, what a glorious day to be alive and support Grimsby Town. Of all the teams to stuff, Barnsley, a "team full of rejects". Oh what irony that their rejects played wonderfully for us.

This daft season careers off in another crazy direction. Barnsley were just so feeble it defied belief, but Town, eventually, were irresistible and ruthless. In fact Town did to the Tykes what has been done to us so often this year. Perhaps they are learning? Perhaps the weak minded have been weeded out?

Sometimes the facts should be left to speak for themselves. Is it a one off? The last dregs of life from a dying team? Something stirred, some players tried, Town have started to climb towards the light.

Oldham to Barnsley is such a short drive, but what an eventful journey.

Nicko’s Man of the Match

Now who could it be? Did anyone do anything exceptional? Almost perfect (hey, he did miss a penalty), playing with passion, and purpose, he was omnipresent. He was everything the Phil-o-philes believed, his second coming is official, a crowning moment of genius. Playing like this he has the feet of cod. Phil Jevons, he floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee.

Markies Unman of the Match

Tony Crane. The boy is an irresponsible fool; this sending off being his pièce de résistance for a season full of stupidity. He doesn’t deserve to be paid.

Official Warning

M Halsey. He didn’t seem to get any decision wrong, he was incredibly good, Flabbergastingly decent. Unlike Marlon Beresford, nothing got past Mr H. Having been some days in preparation, a splendid time was guaranteed for all Grimbarians. Can you ref us every week? He gets 11.032. Quite staggering, eh?

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