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06/11 Scunthorpe Part 2

By: Tony Butcher
Date: 07/11/2004

A shot, a shot, Brian’s kingdom for a shot! Things were looking sweet, talk about a treat. Town somehow got a free kick on the left, maybe one of the Town players was assaulted by any one of the old iron ninja centre backs.

Home > 2004-2005 Season > Reports > Scunthorpe (a)

Scunthorpe United 2 Grimsby Town 0
06 Nov 2004, Coca Cola League 2

Gordon whopped it to the back post, Jones stumbled around the back and headed the ball back across goal. Daly, about a dozen yards out, took one touch and did a bicycle kick that looped a few yards wide of Musselwhite’s left hand post.

There were several flashes of macho posturing , all chest-to-chest snarling and pink handbags. I can’t be bothered to remember who did what, it was all so small time and pathetic. It may have been Professor Plum in the kitchen with Daly’s wobbly stomach.

On the quarter hour Sestanovich wasted a free kick, about 25 yards out, in the centre. It hit the underside of the beam keeping the roof up. Pfft, with nuts and a chocolate flake. Have Scunny actually got inside the Town penalty area yet? Have Town done anything but head and moan? Another Town half-attack, the ball somewhere near the Scunny area, cleared to their left, half way inside their half. Whittle and some bloke in claret challenged and fell over. A free kick given to Scunthorpe. Town players complained, Slade up off the bench remonstrating. The ball rolling, the ball 5 yards from where the "foul" took place. Beagrie (I think) passed up the wing, someone hared after it with Town all of a tither, hither and thither, not a parrot to be seen. A pass inside, Hayes free behind Gordon down the centre. One touch, Williams sank to the ground, HAYES without fuss or favour poked the ball wide and over Williams into the right hand corner. First shot, first goal, Town players furious, fulminating at the referee, Fleming booked. Lots of other words beginning with "f", or maybe just one, said a lot.

I’d like to say things got better. They didn’t. The game was still rotten, lacking the hyper- intensity expected. It was just a game; a bad, bad game between a confident, organised team and a rag-tag bunch of egotists. Town were awful, wilfully reducing themselves to long ball hoofers. There seemed to be no plan about how to attack, other than give it to Stan and let Macca run down the right a few times. Ooo look, there’s Stacy Coldicott, driving through the midfield, up the edge of the area and being cynically scythed down by imaginary Scunthorpian boots. It was such a rubbish dive even Stace chuckled as he ran past the ref, who booked him, probably because he laughed.

I keep mentioning the referee. Not good.

After about half an hour or so Fleming flipped in a corner from the right, which Daly, unmarked near the penalty spot, glanced safely wide. Then it was booksville Arizona. McDermott... McDERMOTT booked when sliding in full frontal at Ridley, who stayed down. A very poor decision, it was just two men sliding towards the ball. And doesn’t he know you can’t book McDermott, he’s royalty. Then, finally, after all their identical trips, clips and pushes an Ironite was booked for putting his studs into that back of Crowe’s ankle. A period of Town pressure ensued with the ball being flung to the far post. Crowe infiltrated on the Town right, near the corner of the penalty area. Up went Crowe, down went Crowe as a claret clad arm went into his face, right in front of the Town fans. Uproar as play continued. Then Baraclough fell suspiciously slowly, clutching his face. Daly was nearest, complaining about being elbowed. What happened? Watch the video, most missed it. Out came the red card, off went Daly who left the field via a stomping finger waggling threat to the now recovered failed ex-Mariner. The Town players gathered around the ref, not quite grooving him with a pick.

Anthony Williams
Justin Whittle
Dean Gordon
Rob Jonesyellow card
John McDermottyellow card
Ashley Sestanovich
Jason Croweyellow card
Andy Parkinson
Stacy Coldicottyellow card
Terry Fleming
Jon Dalyred card


Michael Reddy79 mins
Thomas Pinault67 mins
Colin Crambyellow card67 mins
Clint Marcelle
Greg Young


Nigel Miller
(Co Durham)


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Now work this one out - play restarted via a drop ball!

Town played with just two upfront, keeping the basic formation. Tackles became stronger, Fleming in particular seeming to be on a one-man mission to snap legs. It would be wrong to say the referee had lost control. He never had it the first place. Up to half time Town had a bit of a go, with Sestanovich wasting an excellent chance, just a minute after the sending off. The ball dropped from heaven just outside their penalty area, rebounding back to Transit Stan, who hit a first-time left-footed volley that sliced comfortably over and wide. Parkinson, unmarked to his left, was unimpressed. Macca raided down the right, crossing dangerously; Crowe did likewise down the left, but crosses were just over, just in front of Town strikers. And still Scunny hadn’t got inside the Town area. Ah, that’s nice for them, Sparrow headed softly at Williams after Hayes had twirdled around on their left and crossed to the far post.

Ah the ref again. In the two minutes of added time (that all?) Sestanovich fouled Byrne as he cleared down their right and the ref allowed play to continue. Finally Hayes was offside. So that’s a free kick to Scunny. A couple of minutes later Gordon was fouled on the edge of the Town area, but the ball fell to Crowe who turned and was about to set up a counter attack. Play stopped, Crowe threw the ball down in frustration. And was booked. It rather summed it all up, the little decisions were not kind to Town and a momentum of mutual antagonism had built up between referee and Town players. All Scunthorpe had to do was stand back and let the fireworks go off on their own. They really enjoyed the display, they got all the enjoyment and didn’t have to pay for it.

Half time: Scunthorpe United 1 Grimsby Town 0

Despite there being 200 policeman at Glanford Park not one of them arrested the instigator of this public nuisance, they let him walk off without even a caution. Standards of policing today, eh, slipping.

Have I said how utterly appalling Jones was? I have now. That man frequently allowed the ball to make contact with his head. Let’s not think about his feet. He makes Mark Lever look like a cross between Futcher and Handyside. His distribution made Whittle look like Socrates. Maybe it’s a bald thing, for Parkinson and Coldicott were equally inept. Even with 11 men Town were quite embarrassingly poor, trying to match Scunthorpe for fourth division football. They’ve got far more experience at hoof and hope, they’ve been built for that purpose, so let ‘em do that. It’s called playing to your strengths. The selection dictated the tactics. A mistake had been made. Again.

Stu's Half Time Toilet Talk

"Will we have anyone left on the pitch at the end?"
"No poem I know rhymes toboggan with snow"
"Am I the only person who thinks Coldicott is Harry Hill without the badgers"
"It’s hard to say which is more excruciating, the ref or Town"
"My manager thought it was cold enough to snow, but she is from Birmingham"

The report continues in the Second Half.

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