30/10 Swansea 2nd Half

By: Tony Butcher
Date: 31/10/2004

NO changes were made by either team at half time. Within 30 seconds Town had ripped through Swansea and happiness was on the horizon. A thrust, repulsed, Daly suddenly sent free on the centre right behind the defence and bearing down on goal.

Grimsby Town 1 Swansea City 1 30 Oct 2004, Coca Cola League 2 Gueret raced off his line, Daly tried to bend the ball around the ‘keeper with the outside of his right boot, about 15 yards out, Gueret flung himself to his right and superbly parried the ball aside, it looping invitingly into the centre. Reddy rushed across and just managed to reach the ball before the sliding Monk. Reddy was felled a few inches inside the penalty area and the referee immediately pointed to the penalty spot. The Pontoon acclaimed the stumble, but as the minutes ticked we realised he had actually been fouled, for as he was stretchered off a big gash was seen on his ankle. The Pontoon was still applauding Reddy, who was barely 5 yards to the left of goal, when Gordon strolled forward and rolled the penalty to Gueret’s left. Gueret swept the ball aside for a corner. Many Mariners mulled over this latest pathetic penalty. Thumper Gordon tried to place it, thumper Gordon made a mistake. Whose turn is it next to miss a penalty? Cramb replaced Reddy. Town pressurised them, gently tightening the tourniquet around Gueret, but nothing too dangerous mind, it’s only a game. Cramb was clearly alive to the possibilities of winning a contract, for he was a non-stop blur of bleached motion, even popping up in defence to make crucial tackles. Ooh, no, not quite, but nearly. Ah, Parkinson sent free, twisting away, drifting across from left to right, up to the edge of the penalty area. Crowe and Cramb free, Parky kept that head low and sliced a shot a yard wide of the ‘keeper’s left post. Some applauded, others raged at this wasted opportunity. Handball! Ricketts, on the centre left of edge of the area, missed the ball as it dropped, diverting it off his left hand to a team-mate. What are we appealing for? A penalty is another way of them getting a goal kick. At some point Swansea took off little Leon and brought on old Nugent and played with a front three. His first touch should have been a goal. Dreadfully dilatory defending from a free kick allowed Austin to waddle around the back post and head back. Jones stopped, Forbes watched, Nugent swivelled and flashed a shot into the side netting from a few yards out . After about 55 minutes Gordon machoed his way down the left, demanding the ball. Faced by their Forbes, Gordon dinked infield, then skipped out wide, leaving their previously unseen winger on his backside. Gordon advanced, got into the area, to the bye-line and crossed perfectly in to the centre. CRAMB ran around from the far post and, about eight yards out, headed firmly down past Gueret who was going left as the ball went into the centre right of the goal. How very strange. A Town goal. How very, very strange, for it was the sort of goal Town concede, not score. And this was the cue for Swansea to really go for Town; their front three caused havoc, their midfield hassled and Town were almost overrun. No-one could keep hold of the ball and the midfield especially was almost embarrassing in its ineptness. The defence kept getting itself in a pickle trying to pass the parcel. They wellied when they should have passed and vice-versa. Mistakes kept coming in threes. Forbes missed a cross and suddenly an unidentified object in red was free in exactly the same position that Walker of Bristol Rovers had been in two weeks ago. Again the opposition striker tried to place the ball around Williams from a dozen or so yards out. Williams seemed wrong-footed, leaping up like an electrocuted hamster rather than to the side. The ball trickled past him and…past the post. Swansea claimed a corner, a goal kick was given.

Grimsby Anthony Williams Justin Whittle Terrell Forbes Rob Jones Jason Crowe Terry Fleming Stacy Coldicott Dean Gordon Andy Parkinson Michael Reddy Jon Daly   Subs Thomas Pinault 81 mins Colin Cramb 48 mins Ronnie Bull Clint Marcelle Paul Fraser   Attendance 4,618   Referee Mark Cowburn (Blackpool)   Division Two League Table Reports/Fixtures Squad Stats Top Scorers Previews Predict-o-Meter   Man of the Match Vote for your Man of the Match Your Name (optional) Your Email Address (optional) Your Man of the Match Pick a player Coldicott Cramb Crowe Daly Fleming Forbes Gordon Jones Parkinson Pinault Reddy Whittle Williams Nominations count towards the Player Of The Month shortlist.

Trundle started to run at the Town defence, especially on the right and this caused minor mayhem, only the fourth and fifth defenders stopped him. He was very Sestanovichian in his rumblings, producing heart flutters in the home fans, but, as yet, nothing tangible. Spoke too soon? Trundle shot from 25 yards out, the ball hit a Town boot and looped up beyond the stars. Williams stuttered back, leapt up and just managed to tap the ball over the bar for a corner. Free kick to them, 30 yards out. A two man wall, Trundle whacked, the ball zoomed straight to Williams, low to his right. He even held on to it for once.

Swansea waltzed around, often having spare men on the flanks, but rarely looking up and passing. Twenty minutes left, a Swansea cross from the left sailed through the area and away, no danger, nowhere near anyone. A striker was seen falling at the near post when the ball was already beyond the far post. No Townite thought anything of it and concentrated on the Town attack to be. How confusing for us to see the referee pointing to the penalty spot. Jones was booked, Forbes hid and I’ve no idea who did what. Forbes appeared to be nearest the stumbling Swan, so it may have been him. Or not. Who knows? Does the ref?. TRUNDLE walked up, plonked the ball down and whacked it to Williams’ left. Half the Pontoon roared, for Williams had gone the right way, but soon hid underneath their baseball caps as they saw the ball rolling around the back of the net.

Town continued their rather messy approach to promotion; rather speculative punting, relying on Daly the wall, Cramb the whirl and Parky the "curl up and hide under a pebble please". Parkinson seemed to spend the whole of the second half running into Swansea players. Ah, at last, he looks up. Sent free down the right , Parkinson hit the bye-line and fizzed a low cross into the centre, Daly slid through the centre of the six yards box, but Gueret caught the ball at his near post. Cramb almost controlled a long ball on the right, then messed up a long ball down the left, trying to lob-volley the ‘keeper from 20 yards when behind the defence. Daly almost reached a nice little through pass from Cramb, Gueret plucked from his toes. Gueret caught a bouncing ball, raising his foot into Daly’s groin. Well, it if it had been there, it would have been his groin. Get the picture? Town weren’t creating but relying upon happenstance.

Deep into the half Cramb and Austin were booked for what will officially be deemed an off-the- ball incident which Arsene Wenger didn’t see. Austin canoodled Cramb as the short term Scotchman sprinted down the middle. Cramb reacted by pushing, the daytripping referee hadn’t a clue what happened so took the easy way out. He only had to ask the Pontoon and we’d have told him.

Swansea had some more attacks. They looked dangerous; there were several scrambles and shots which screwed wide or were blocked. I can’t be bothered to remember more about them. Perhaps the mist would creep in some more and engulf the Osmond Stand. That’d be nice and be a good excuse to end it all. With about 10 minutes left Pinault was finally brought on for Crowe. The cabinet reshuffle saw John Redwood plucked from the stand to be the enigmatic right winger with a silly hairstyle. Or was it that Terry Fleming went to right wingish-sort-of-back-type midfielder? Pinault did a couple of passes, including a little dinker for Cramb, who raced down the right, cut in and, from about a dozen yard out, cracked a low shot goalwards. Gueret saved, pushing it out to the centre. Fleming got a little too excited and volleyed over an almost open goal from about fifteen yards out. He could have passed it to Pinault or Daly but he didn’t - ball into top row of the Pontoon.

From a free kick about 40 yards out from the Swansea goal the ball was dimpled in to the centre of the penalty area. Whittle was hauled down as the ball neared. No penalty. Not that anyone was that bothered about getting one; we’d rather not have our hopes raised falsely. As added time approached a Swansea player headed over from close in to the Town goal. So what.

Three minutes of added time were given, which was less than the hold up for Reddy’s injury, but there you are. During this period I am assured by those close to me that I was awake. I therefore did not dream that Coldicott almost scored from 40 yards out. Well, when I say nearly, I actually mean it was not beyond the limits of the present laws of probability. Gueret, on the left of his area, fluffed a punt straight to Stacy who took one touch and lobbed the ball a yard or so wide of the left hand post. Look, it was Stace, no-one remotely considered the possibility it would actually go in.

Thank goodness for that, it’s over, we can get on with the rest of our lives. Some people have cucumbers to cultivate.

Was it that bad? Yes, in one way. Swansea were sufficiently competent to easily repel what was sent out in our name. Swansea spent about an hour content to pose in midfield, but when they attacked Town wilted. But they still only managed a couple of shots on target all game. Swansea looked to be just about the best team Town have faced so far, about on a par with Bristol Rovers, but they weren’t frightening in any way. Town were just, well, rubbish; which isn’t surprising when the players of distinction were absent, two by choice of the manager. He selected a team that probably wouldn’t lose, rather than one that could win. Town will remain in mid-table with that attitude.

If that starting XI turns up next Saturday then Scunthorpe will be happy, and the fans won’t be. I’d rather not think about this game again. Delete from memory bank. Press Y for yes. Are you sure? You have successfully erased the Swansea game. Do you wish to continue?

Nicko’s Man of the Match

Sir John McDermott, in absentia. The best one could say for anyone on the pitch was that they were alright. Cramb, perhaps, for his impact, Daly was okay for an hour or so until he tired. Gordon didn’t do anything wrong. Apart from missing a penalty. Erm, erm, erm, excuse me whilst I meditate. No, I stick by John McDermott; you don’t realise how much we need you, we could never really live without you.

Official Warning

Mr M Cowburn. And yes, he did officiate like a bovine backside. Why he made decisions no one knows. Without the aid of computer-generated illustrations it isn’t possible for far away Pontoonites to establish why he gave Swansea a penalty. He liked to book players, especially for dissent, and one never was sure what would happen next. Was he sleeping too? The slide rule and sextant are out, and the triangle of trash says the tangent of trouble equals the opposite of obvious over the adjacent to actuality, 4.744. We’d sure like to pull the trigonometry on him.

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