04/10 QPR Part 2

Grimsby Town 0 Queens Park Rangers 1
04 Oct 2003, Nationwide League Division 2

A dozen matches and we’ve been sussed. So still not yet then. The linesmen were flag wavers of the first order, infuriating sections of the lower Stones/Smiths/Findus with the defenestration of Michael Boulding, but saving the Town defence some collective embarrassment with some exceedingly dodgy wafting. A couple of absolute sitters were missed in front to the Town goal but, hey, they wouldn’t have counted, so why are we bothered about them? You’re not, so on with the show.

Town, yes, yet! A long throw from the Town left high and long towards the near post. Crane headed once, twice, three times, nodding like a donkey at the bouncing ball, which eventually squirmed out to Campbell, in the middle of the penalty area. Campbell leant back and hooked a shot (in the context of Town’s first half efforts this was a chance) over the bar and just under the new scoreboard. There was enough power in the shot to dislodge a programme from a child. Not much of a yet, was it.

After about 17 minutes, whilst shepherds watched their flocks, trippers snoozed under a tartan blanket and the Town defence stared at a passing speedboat, QPR took a throw-in in front of the Lower Stones/ Smiths/Findus, with Gallen turning and smacking a low driven cross through the penalty area from the right hand corner. The ball hit the unmarked Furlong’s knee and plopped into Davison’s waiting hands. Nice of him to miss. A minute later another sitter missed. A one-two, flick and punt around the edge of the area saw the ball arc towards goal. Crane took a step back and attempted to guide a glancing header towards Davison. Fine. Great, no problem. Ah, problem. Thorpe had read Crane’s "big book of flippin’ obvious defending (Vol 2)" before he arrived on the luxury padded coach and there he was, waiting on a friend. Fortunately Davison rushed out and smothered as Thorpe twisted and flicked a shot goalwards.

Well, that’s lucky. After 21 minutes or so more fortune as the worm turned. The referee spent the first part of the game failing to notice little fouls by QPR. I particularly like the way he thought Town players could make themselves move several feet laterally whilst suspended in mid-air. Do we have hoverpacks or are their poltergeists on the playing surface? Stop griping, he took agin the opposition for 20 minutes after he awarded Town a free kick. Thorpe moaned and moaned and groaned, sufficient to get booked and for the free kick to be marched forward 10 yards. Perhaps he was pointing out the small print in the contract between the two parties "we don’t foul, they do"? Barnard whacked the free kick into the wall, the ball bounced down, up and flew towards the top left hand corner. Palmer nodded the ball away from near the goal-line, with Day seemingly unconcerned behind him. After much debate the Pontoon decided it was worth a half hearted "ooh", so half of us heartily "Ooohed".

Hey, Town pressure, in the sense that there was a five minute period when QPR didn’t mesmerise and make mincemeat of Town. A Daws long throw was scrambled away to Hamilton, 20 yards out in the centre. The crowd sucked in air, anticipating glory as Hamilton wound himself up to thwack the loose ball goalwards. And he did!

"They’ve just signed Warren Beatty".
"Two ambulances at Blundell Park? They’re just like busses, aren’t they".
"Have they got a bicycle kick fetish?".
"QPR know what they’re doing. That’s a first for this division".
"Is that a fur lined cagoule?"