Trampled Underfoot: Wycombe Report

Grimsby Town 3 Wycombe Wanderers 1
25 Aug 2003, Nationwide League Division 2

A curious atmosphere to start with, like a friendly. After just one win are we all too relaxed about life?

The second division is proving to be a huge disappointment for those who like their opponents to be extravagantly named and spectacularly coiffed. Wycombe just had Darren Currie’s slightly dishevelled boy band look and Jermaine McSporran, who didn’t have ginger hair nor wear a Wycombe patterned kilt for shorts. How do these teams expect to be promoted if they have sensible hair and sensible shoes. Equally disappointing is the pre-match warm up. They kick the ball to each other, and back again, no fancy-dan sub-aerobic video ballet dances. Just occasional trots and sprints.

Town lined up in the usual 4-4-2 formation, as shown. The receding Ten Heuvel finally replaced by perky Rowan, who was no doubt encouraged by his GCSE results last week. With Anderson gone, Campbell shuffled over to the left, with Groves forming a less than mobile midfield partnership with the Great Desmondo.

In a break from recent tradition, the game actually started at 3 o’clock. At this rate it might end before 5 and the Town fans could, after all, hear that much trailed interview with Brian Laws on Radio Humberside. Who could ask for anything more?

1st half

Wycombe, dressed in red, kicked off towards the Pontoon. Take a little nap for five minutes. Nothing happened. The ball went up in the air, the ball came down. Throw ins, goal kicks and more throw ins. Wycombe played with two very wide wingers, Currie being literally very wide. Silky smooth touches, rolling the ball under his feet, swaying his hips. Lovely, but a waste of time, as he did it at warp factor 0 speed. I think your great Auntie Dot could have out paced him, especially if you haven’t got a Great Auntie Dot. McSporran and Currie a-hugged the touchline, meaning that there were large gaps for players to stroll into, depending on who had miss-controlled the ball. Or kicked it out of play, which is what Wycombe spent the first few minutes doing.

Wycombe’s strikers were big, old, Iffy Onoura and young, spindly and tall Patterson, who dwarfed Crane. Go on, guess what their "style" of play was? Curiously they kept crossing the ball low and flat. No problem for Town. After about seven minutes Town, finally, strung passes together. And boy did they. Groves dispossessed a Wycombe midfielder near the away team’s dugout, turned once, turned twice Dick Whittington, and curled a perfectly weighted pass between two defenders for the rampaging Barnard to run on to. Barnard got to the bye line and hit a fast curling cross to the far post. Cas, all alone, and about 8 yards out steered a volley a couple of feet wide of the left hand post. He should have scored, but what a superb bit of fast interplay, the Wycombe players hardly moved. Wycombe? Chances? None created, a couple of long shots which drifted over and wide and then "that" save. Which save? "That" save, from the returning hero.